


The pleasure of falling in love with you

by Atman



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 20:16:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,329
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18611743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Atman/pseuds/Atman
Summary: Spy has had a past that makes it difficult for him  to be emotional and physically vulnerable around people, even people he loves. One day spy takes the plunge with demoman.





	The pleasure of falling in love with you

Jean was having a wonderful time. The food at the restaurant was alright, but as far as actual honest to god restaurants in the middle of the desert but was far above par. But more than the meal what captivated his attention was the man sitting across from him, Tavish looked stunning tonight. He had his kilt and his best shirt on, with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

One night after copious drinking, mutual confessions of interest were expressed, leading to this night. They had been dating for a while but this is the first time they've been able to get off the base and go out for a proper date. The wine had warmed him and he couldn't help but look at Tavish with love and adoration visible on his face. He truly did love this man

Jean had been doing some thinking. They had been dating for a few months now and they had never gone further than a little bit of tongue in cheek. Jean was in a unique position, it wasn't that he was a virgin by any notion of the word. It was just that… This is the first time he has pursued someone he is actually interested in. All of his previous sexual and feigned romantic escapades were always in service of a goal or part of the job. But this shouldn't be too different in the approach, hopefully it is different with someone who actually care for him. But Jean felt that he was ready to take that leap with Tavish, a man he loves and trusts completely. 

With his classic spy charm, he leans forward Tavish and whispers “how about we pay the bill and get out of here love?“. Tavish smirks at Jean and pulls out his wallet and puts exact change down on the counter, and they make their way out of the dinner and to the truck that engie let them borrow for the night on the condition that the truck came back in the exact same condition it left. The demoman got into the driver’s seat and they set out. 

The desert air was cool as night was falling. Jean leaned out the window as he made idle comfortable conversation with Tavish, a cigarette dangling from his hand. He had offered Tavish a cigarette but he was much more of a pipe smoker himself. Tavish reached over and gently intertwined their fingers letting their hands rest on Jean's thigh. Jean swore he could see the stars reflected in his love’s eye. 

They pulled into base and dropped the truck of near engie’s workshop. The man seemed to be engrossed in a project and barely turned around and waved before refocusing his attentions. Tavish quirked his eyebrow at Jean and Jean replied with simply “my room”. They usually retired to one of the two's rooms after dinner. If they went to Tavish’s room Tavish would tinkering away at his grenade launcher or perfecting a new type of sticky bomb while Jean would read, a perpetual cigarette dangling out of his hand. Somehow nothing had exploded so far. 

But Jean had something else planned for tonight, and for once he wasn't sure of himself. He wanted Tavish to know how much he wanted him. But also of his past so nothing surprised him. He didn't know how Tavish would handle it, but Jean trusted him.

The two reached Jean’s room. Jean fished out the key from his pocket and unlocked the door ushering in Tavish. The room was furnished in a way that suggested an unobtrusive luxury, finely furnished but not garish or ostentatious. Tavish sat down in one of the velvet armchairs and made himself comfy while Jean fixed both of them a drink. Tonight called for liquid courage Jean though as he absentmindedly watched the ice bob around in the whiskey.

Jean handed Tavish his drink and sat down in his chair. Tavish took the glass tentatively, glancing at Jean with a queer look on his face. “Are you alright love?” asked Tavish with concern in his voice. Damn that man can read Jean like a book. “Everything is fine, I just need to tell u something”. Jean's words did nothing to ease the worry on Tavish’s face. He sat back in his chair allowing Jean time to collect his thoughts and articulate them clearly. Jean took a contemplative sip of his whiskey and spoke barely above a whisper “Tavish you know I love you dearly and completely right?” “of course love” Tavish replied surely and with grave seriousness. Jean continued “I would like to become physically intimate with you but you need to know my past.” Tavish looked surprised. The man must have thought that Jean didn't desire him because they were taking it so slow.

Jean took another shaky sip of his drink and began to speak again. “I was young when the war ended. My village was completely destroyed and my father and two old brothers never returned from the trenches, so it was just me and my mother. I was now the breadwinner in the family.” Jean lit his cigarette and deeply inhaled, letting the smoke completely fill his lungs and slowly exhaled. “ My mother used to work as a maid before the war but there were no more houses to clean anymore. She picked up odd jobs as she could but it was clear that I needed to work.” Jean steeled himself against the painful memories swirIing inside of him. 

“I went to the docks everyday to try and find work but nothing came of it. After many days on the dock, a recruiter saw me in my desperate and destitute state and offered me a chance at earning some money. From his lecherous smile it was clear to me what I would need to do to earn my keep.” Jean took another deep drag of his cigarette to steady himself. “Apparently I did a good enough job and his boss added me to his employ. It was disgusting work, all the filthy labourers who would come through town trying to rebuild the village. I would empty my mind and distantly think of how mother doesn't have to worry about putting food on the table and perhaps how I was aiding in the rebuilding of the village. This is also around when I picked up smoking, a much needed cleansing ritual after each client. My mother hated smoking, but as far as she knew, I had found a job at the docks and was now the man of the house. I could see the displeasure in the wrinkles near her eyes but she said nothing. 

This numb dreariness went on until one day I was waylayed by a man who was too well dressed to be a client. Another job offer came my way, this was my entrance into espionage. Apparently this was their modus operandi , vulnerable kids with no family and nothing to lose make the best spies. I still had a mother, but they promised to keep her comfortable as long as I was in their employ. I was ready to bid the village adieu, the only thing tying me to it anymore being mother.” Jean's hand was steadier as he tapped the ash off his cigarette into the Ashtray. He took another swig of his drink. “The spy’s life came easily to me, I lurked in the shadows, I was charming and handsome, a blade always a flick of the wrist away. But when it came to retrieving information, I realized that my old job had prepared me for this as well. In some ways nothing much had changed except I wore suit and was surrounded much more comfortable surroundings. Then the opportunity came along to do this job, and I was able to leave that behind, at least for now.”

Jean leaned over and held Tavish’s hand and looked into his eye. “I was able to meet you, and had the pleasure of falling absolutely in love with you.“ a small smile curled on Tavish’s lip but his eye betrayed how worried he was about Jean. “Sure I have physically and romantically desired other people, but until I met you I never trusted anyone enough to get that close to my heart. I was tired of my line of work and felt loved and cared for the first time since I was clutching at my mother's skirt. I feel safe with you.” Jean rose from his chair, making sure that their hands were still intertwined, and sat straddling Tavish. He leaned down and whispered into Tavish’s ear. “Take me to bed”. 

Tavish spoke for the first since Jean’s emotional confession. “I'll take you to bed but under one condition: you have to tell me if anything feels bad and you want me to stop. I can't bear the thought of hurting you or adding to any of the pain in your life.” “of course love” replied Jean as moved into kiss his lover. The kiss started out sweet, just lips. Jean's hands locked behind Tavish’s shoulders and Tavish’s arms at Jean’s waist. Jean deepened the kiss moving forward a little in Tavish’s lap so that Tavish could feel his growing erection. Jean knew Tavish had noticed because he felt him moan into his mouth. Jean began to growl in Tavish’s ear. “Do you know how long I've wanted this? You look absolutely delectable“ Jean began to lick at Tavish’s neck, moving to suck at a particular sensitive spot. He was growing harder with each of Tavish’s breathy moans. Jean continued “Especially in that kilt. God, when I see you sticky jump across the map and I get to see that beautiful ass.” This spurred Tavish into action. With a growl he picked up Jean and layed him gently down the bed. “May I undress you love?” Tavish asked with a smirk. Jean nodded vigorously. Jean wriggled out of his suit jacket, and Tavish lifted the hem of Jean's balaclava, silently asking permission to take it off, and Jean nodded his assent. As soon as the balaclava was off, Tavish smoothed Jean’s salt and pepper hair and kissed him deeply, while he began to unbutton Jean’s shirt. Jean impatiently also began to undo the buttons on Tavish’s shirt with a little less grace than his lover. Once Tavish removed Jean's shirt and pulled his undershirt over his head he began to suck and Jean's nipples spending time on each one, alternating. Jean arched into the contact, he was so sensitive and felt so secure in Tavish’s arms. But he needed to taste Tavish. God he had imagined this moment for so long. As Tavish’s kisses kept going lower, Jean stopped him. “wait”. As soon as he said it Tavish stopped, searching Jean’s face for any sign of discomfort. “Can I taste you? I've been imagining it for so long… “ Jean trailed off, getting lost in the fantasy of eating Tavish out. 

Tavish smirked and got up from his position on top of Jean and finished undressing. He layed back with his back against the headboard and his legs spread open, and beckoned Jean over. Jean had a hungry look in his eye. Since he and Tavish had started dating he couldn't wait to do this, and now he had express permission. He had been watching Tavish get undressed and couldn't help but kick his pants and boxers off, and stroke himself a few times to the sight. He was just as gorgeous as he had imagined in his private movements. With Tavish lying down with his legs spread, all Jean could do was heed Tavish’s beckoning finger. 

Jean crawled over and settled himself between Tavish’s legs and begins to suck Tavish’s clit, both of his hands loosely settled on Tavish’s hips. Jean hears a moan from above him and sucks harder his right hand roaming across Tavish’s stomach, feeling the tremors in his muscles. Eventually, his hand ends up at Tavish’s chest and rolls a nipples between thumb and forefinger. When he felt no reaction, good or bad, he stopped and looked up. At the loss of contact Tavish opened his eye and huffed out “sorry love, don't really feel anything there since the surgery.” Understanding flashed in Jean’s eyes and he went back to work with a vengeance, sucking Tavish’s clit and teasing his front hole briefly stopping to look at Tavish for approval “may I?” Tavish nods and Jean slowly introduces a finger into Tavish and Tavish’s breath hitches and starts breathing harder. Jean puts in another finger and starts moving them around, while still sucking on his clit. He curls his fingers upwards and feels around trying to find the spot that would drive him wild. After a short time Tavish cries out “fuck!” as Jean found the right spot. Jean smiled and kept doing what he was doing before and it was not long before Tavish was coming all over Jean's face, Tavish trying his hardest to not crush the other man between his thighs. As Tavish came Jean started furiously jerking off, he was already so hard from eating out Tavish that he came shortly after him. Tavish rested his head on a pillow as he lazily came down from his high. Once he was able to open his eye and looked at Jean asking him with a lazy smile, “what can I do for you”. Jean looked up, blushing. “ I, ermh, already took care of myself “ he said sheepishly. Tavish raised an eyebrow at him and Jean spoke again. “God it really was like a dream come true I couldn't contain myself.” Tavish patted the spot next to him on the bed and said “come here” Jean shimmied up the bed and laid his head on Tavish’s chest. Tavish stroked Jean's hair gently and he could hear Jean starting to snore. Tavish closed his eye contented to fall asleep with his love.

**Author's Note:**

> This was really cathartic for me to write. Thanks for reading!


End file.
